This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
