there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
