Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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