Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
