Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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