Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
