he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
