I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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