so that wasnt chicken after all
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
