Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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