Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
