There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
