i need an iv and a liver transplant
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
