We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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