I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
