You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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