I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize