I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We left the knife in your bed.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
