wanna go halves on a baby?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
