Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
