eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You took a bar mat shot.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
