it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
The power of my boobs compel you
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
