I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
