So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
