Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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