I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
