So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
there is glitter all over my balls
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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