Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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