I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I need a beard to bite.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
