im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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