it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
