And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
