Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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