I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize