You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
