Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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