There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
