Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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