don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
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