then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
