I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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