When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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