All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize