Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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