I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
her vagine was all disorganized.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
