it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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