how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Of course I have a pirate flag
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
