Sponge bath it is.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Randomize