if i died would you start the facebook group?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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