Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize