found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
