He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
