After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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