I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
