...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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