I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
