just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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