I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
