I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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