i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
