Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
