I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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