Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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