Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
