This dress was meant to end up on your floor
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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