Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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